July 2009

Constellation workshop, all change!!

Have you ever done anything in your life that has been truly powerful and catapulted you into a new direction? At the beginning of this month, whilst suffering with a ludicrously high fever that had kept her in bed for the week beforehand, Lorraine participated in a Constellation workshop run by Barbara Morgan ( www.ordersoflove.co.uk).

It was held in the glorious location of Holycombe in Warwickshre (www.holycombe.com), a nurturing and inspiring environment in its own right. During the 3 days my temperature disappeared, I rediscovered FUN, laughed and giggled a lot, cried and shouted and walked and sat by an open fire talking with a group of women whilst the sun went down and the owls hooted. Needless to say, I returned to the farm with energy and a very clear determination that life was to change.

The community here were generous in their understanding of my transformation and took my new direction in their strides. It was clear to me that the last 8 years have been about looking after the animals and the land and that the humans have sometimes been sadly neglected. I set about organising a day off for everyone and, although it doesn't work perfectly like that every week, we do our best to ensure that each person has some time for themselves. The money I'd been saving for a makeover of the communal spaces in the house was reassigned to the redecoration of our bedroom (the only private space we have) and the study, which is the organisational centre of the farm. I met with our friend Prudence who breeds the pigs for us. She was relieved to hear of my plans for downsizing as this was what she had in mind for her business too (I love it when plans come together!). We set some WWOOFers to working on creating a garden out of the wilderness around our house, hired a book keeper to help with the accounts, cancelled the Natural Horsemanship Weekend as it was proving to be a project too far in my mind and set about reducing our herd of cows... phew!

That was a hard one, firstly to let any of them go, but secondly, how to choose which to move on? This might seem odd to you 'cos we send our animals to the abattoir on a regular basis... but you see, we take them and the carcass comes back here and we continue to do our best by that animal but presenting its gift of meat in the best way we can and it's bought by people who enjoy it and... and... and... but this is different. These cows were intended to go to other homes. What if they don't like the place where they end up? What if they're kept inside all the time, or not able to run with the bull... what if they get into difficulty, will someone be there for them, be patient with them, care about them??? So many questions, we were in danger of getting ourselves knotted up. So, we tried to take a dispassionate look at the herd.

There were a couple of cows from a bull that we didn't like very much, a bit smaller than our favourites. Myfanwy and Winnie (she's named after my Mum, a bit of a tear jerker that one) were selected on that basis, just being a bit smaller than our average cows. Then there was Daisy and Windflower, beautiful big, blossoming heifers who are in the prime of their lives and expected to be in calf to Cumulus... why did we choose them? I don't know... just that they weren't going to calve imminently and didn't have calves at foot. And we needed a couple more to bring the herd numbers down, Spirit of Freedom and Pattie were the ones. Even writing about it now I can feel my angst. We made a mini herd of them and tried to get used to the idea of saying goodbye to them. We knew we needed to reduce the herd... just too many, especially as they are going to be having calves this winter. A couple of them went to a man in Norfolk, Winnie, who was too close to calving to send to the market, was bought by a man near Devizes (and has subsequently had a little boy) and the rest, along with their calves at foot, went to the Rare Breeds Auction at Cirencester. Fortunately Mark, Dougal and Ian went along with them. I think I would have cried :-( Anyway, we have heard from some of the owners who are very pleased with their new additions. I have my eyes on a couple who have a tendency to go a bit lame and will probably be made into burgers after they've weaned their calves... but that's to think about another time.

I think Cumulus might have felt all of this, 'cos it was during this month that he started to sing to the world at dawn. A low, growling tone, just enough to wake one from slumber... mounting to an excited squeal and trumpet which shattered the peace of the early morning.

Bless him!